Hey, how’s it going?
I was given this job to be an undercover reviewer of Disney parks—rides, restaurants, attractions, shows—stuff like that. I decided to do it in the form of a blog, so here goes.
Have you heard of those people who are mystery reviewers of restaurants? They go in like they’re just regular people. Which they are, actually. But they’re being paid to evaluate the place, and then their assessment goes into some cosmic hub and the information is used somehow for the betterment of all mankind. Or at least the betterment of mankind’s dining experiences.
You can tell I don’t actually know much about the whole mystery dining review thing, except that it happens.
I’m telling you that because that’s kind of what I do.
I take my job seriously. I’m quite sure that if I submitted enough negative reviews, the powers that be would shut down Disney.
I’m confident that my words carry that much weight.
I get paid secretly. There’s a largish rock at the base of my front porch steps. Under that rock is a cavity just big enough for a box the size of a small World War Two ammo container.
When I have finished a review, I print it out, fold it up carefully, and put it in the box.
That night, I pull the shades of the upstairs window up and down twice. In the morning, when I move the rock and check in the ammo box, my review is gone and in its place is a crisp new Benjamin Franklin.
So yeah, that’s how the system works.
And yeah, I’m kidding about the position of the ammo box. It’s in a different place but I’m not going to tell you for obvious reasons.
So anyway, that’s me, Disney undercover review agent.